I’m……..waiting…

In the past year, I have been teased multiple times with the prospect of working full-time. Monday, August 20th 2018, I was waking up to start my new journey(after 9 years of patiently waiting) and there was a fire on the other side of the wall of my building. I couldn’t work up there for a while and thankfully a couple colleagues stepped up and let me utilize their massage businesses to keep mine running.

During this time some idiot lady sped through an intersection to avoid a police officer seeing her expired plates, I struck her and totaled the front end of my car. She didn’t have a driver’s license or insurance, she left in handcuffs.

A couple months later I was able to return to my massage room part-time, with the hope of a remodel and finally beginning full-time work in January.

In October, I took a Thai class and on the last day I was driving home and my enormous 60+ year old tree fell in my back yard.

In December, I did 3 massages and had multiple cancellations due to remodels at work and random days where I had a fever for 24 hours. 5 weeks in a row…omg

And finally, January 6th, kids were back in school full-time, Shanti was finally reopened, I was scheduled up and it was then that I was forced to decide if I wanted to stay in Maplewood or move and, I decided it was time to move. The first week of Feb was the end of my 4 years in Maplewood. January brought lots of snow and the sudden death of my grandma. I was closed most weekends. Just as I was fully booked my last week at Shanti, I had a horrible illness(finally came in like a beast) and was in bed with a 102 fever for days. I had to clean out my space while sick and feeling horrible. Cleaning out my room was not easy to do, but I was grateful the kids were in school. During Feb/Mar a friend let me use her massage business to continue working until I found a new space.

At the end of March I asked a friend if she knew of anywhere and that’s when I met my landlady. She’s wonderful, has great morals and sound judgement. I finally settled down in Kirkwood, and worked to build my business to full-time status. Then summer hit before I had enough money/clients for child-care and I had to cut my hours.

Cut off my finger tip. It grew back.

My son stabbed himself with an EpiPen.

During the month of June I had a part-time schedule, and for the past week weeks I’ve been closed in order to be at the hospital with my mom, who has an unexpected illness. My dad has dementia, my sister doesn’t drive, and both of my brothers live out of town. The responsibility fell on me.

My husband went to the ER.

I have done about 4 massages since June 18th(with lots more on the books, woo) and I’m desperately waiting for August 14th, when the kids go back to school, and I can (and if it doesn’t happen I’m gonna freaking lose my mind) GO FULL-TIME. GAH.

In the past 11 months, I’ve had nothing but road blocks. I have been trying my absolute best to keep building/maintaining but its really hard when you just don’t have the time.

I’m so thankful to all my regulars that have stuck out this shitty year with me and kept scheduling monthly or as often as I had time. I have lost some clients, and I’m very sad about it, but I understand. All in all, I’m really happy with my new room, landlady, and the beauty that is Kirkwood.

For the LOVE OF EVERYTHING. I just want to work.

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Baby Blanket Fever

Here are a few recent knit items.

The first one here was a gift for my cousins new baby.

This next one, below, is currently for sale in my Etsy store. KnitbyCheryl

And, the pink one is a commission.

Intermittent Fasting Plan

Here you go my sweetie darlings. Maintaining a completely vegan diet, here are my goals and I will be posting before and after pics every week. Including recipes/meal plans for each week. I’m keeping this journal in my kitchen which I’m getting ready to reorganize for maximum efficiency. -love

I’m swelling.

This year has been very interesting for me and my little crew. Firstly, my husband got a new job, this alone has completely changed our lives. Secondly, I moved my massage business from Maplewood to Kirkwood and it has brought unexpected joy to me. Thirdly, I joined a gym! whaaaaat. And, the most crazy thing this year is that I’ve been doing Intermittent Fasting. A client told me about it and I was totally intrigued. I have read a few books on the subject, done a little research into some pubmed articles, and gave it my all for two weeks. I lost inches. INCHES! I was eating between 4pm-10pm, no alcohol, any food I wanted. Then BOOM. Mother’s Day weekend. Saturday I indulged in bread, mackerel, tapenade, lox, and wine. Big mistake. Sunday we ate Taco Bell. Since then I have totally gone back to eating mainly breads and pastas, and thus have regained the inches I lost. Which brings us to today.

Today I’m waking up to a freshly mowed lawn, black coffee, and read the book “Jump Start Ketosis” by Kristen Mancinelli. Being vegan is hard for Ketosis because to eat a “keto” diet you don’t get many veggies. I’m gonna go for it anyway. I’m going to start today with a bit of exercise and a really long fast. The last time I had calories was at 10:30 last night, I had wine. I dont plan to eat again until tomorrow at 4pm. So we’ll see how that goes. I’m writing up a routine to eat between 4pm-10pm. I tried to ease my way down a couple hours a day/week but honestly, I need to just jump right in. I can’t do the flexibility. I also plan to do 1-2 days of lifting heavy weights at the gym and doing other random exercises at home. Exercise is essential. Eating right is essential. Doing both at the same time is essential.

Tonight is taco night for the family, so I’m glad I’m doing massages tonight so I won’t be home to torture myself. The hardest part of today will be when I get home from work, because I always eat a meal after I massage.

For today I will be drinking a ton of water, black coffee, and chamomile tea. When I get home from work tonight, I plan to drink tea and go to bed around 10pm.

I also read the book Delay, Don’t Deny. Which I plan to re-read today also.

My Beautiful Life

My goodness. I don’t know what is happening this year. Everyone is dying. Everyone is in a weird mood. Everyone is different. Are you experiencing this?  Twenty eighteen is a curious year, filled with tears, endings, and beginnings. For me, its THE year of personal growth.

I recently read a book that changed my life. Adult Children of Alcoholics.

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It was mesmerizing. I grew up with an alcoholic, and with an adult child of an alcoholic as well. I think I was on my way to becoming an alcoholic, with children. What a terribly sad cycle. So I put the stopper on that. Life gets so damn depressing sometimes we don’t realize we’re falling down a hole. Thank goodness I was able to see someone else(different family member) going through trauma and was able to relate it to my life before things got bad. Perks of not drinking, weightloss, my face is less pink, less anxiety, more time with family, more time working on who I am, and actively living. I am so much more happy. To think I used alcohol to try and attempt to be happy, how embarrassing.

Since I read this book, I decided it was time to clean my house out. –weird end result of reading a book about alcoholism? So, I have purged and taken a lot of stuff out of my house. Other results of this book, I want more plants in my house. I want to be the crazy cat lady of plants(mainly trees and cacti.) I am obsessed with the desert I want to dye my hair blonde again, and live in New Mexico or Arizona. I want to feel the heat on my skin, lay on the sand, and start a whole new life. But outside of my dream world…

I’m currently reading When Things Fall Apart. Have you read it?

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I’m excited to read this book, its like a fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookie on my Kindle right now. Unfortunately, I have a ton of housework and real work. I’m currently piecing together a totally rad Mother’s Day massage gift package. I cant wait to release it.

In the world of fitness I have been doing yoga more frequently and I started Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30. Its just a really great workout. 30 seconds of each of these- 3 min strength, 2 min cardio, 1 min abs, 6x. Its over before you know it, you’re sweaty, and I’ve already lost a couple inches.

I’ve also been drinking a little less coffee now that I’m not drinking alcohol, I dont need as much to stay awake. I started having weird heart things happening, like it would squeeze really hard and because I dont have health insurance I cant afford to get it checked out. Limiting my coffee to 1/2-1 cup a day has helped a ton.

My new tea is Tazo Calm Chamomile. This stuff will ligit knock you out. Its amazing.

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No time for knitting, though I did start a pretty fun Harry Potter kitchen collection, my mind is elsewhere.

That’s all for now,

namasté

what did you do today?

Started my day by finishing a rainbow wrap with mandala yarn, followed by a manicure, some Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee, while watching some youtube massage videos. Felt pretty good about all of that. My hands look and feel great. I did a salt scrub, and some of my daughter’s Burts Bees stuff she got for Christmas. She’s 9, she doesn’t need cuticle cream. srsly. Then I worked out to target my shoulders/chest muscles, so I did some Pilates and then lifted some weights. While doing this I may have decided to join a gym, I want to lift real weights not these measly 8lbs, I used to be really strong and I feel very weak. I just have to figure out when I could possibly go to the gym, this will be easier when Henry starts school. anyway. THEN I won the avocado lottery…Tiny pit, perfect color/texture, and it was so flavorful. Definitely my lucky day. Finished my day with a crochet sloth for a friend and watched Babylon 5 with my husband. It was just an extremely wonderful day full of 4 of my favorite things.

coffee – yarn – massage – fitness

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What do you call a 3 humped camel?

 

A few thoughts today…

I got all excited to start a new fitness regimen the other day and here I sit, all hopped up on carbs and haven’t worked out once. I have been doing massages, which does count a little, but this week they have been more gentle than high exertion.

Also, I just did this really great deep conditioning hair treatment yesterday and if I work out today I’ll get all sweaty and gross and I’ll have to wash my hair before I go to work. My long beautiful hair. See photo…side note, 6″ and my hair will be to my waist and I will be so happy. (yes I have other shirts, its just coincidence that I posted the same shirt twice) Ugh,  I was so motivated the other day.

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Also, does anyone else LOVE Tazo Passion tea?!  its so freaking good. I had a luxurious bath yesterday with a bath bomb, tea, facial, and I scrubbed the heck out of my feet. I’m so soft everywhere. I’m not getting paid to advertise this tea, I just love it.

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One of my new year resolutions was to not focus on friendships as much this year, and focus on my marriage and children. This was by far the best decision I’ve made in a while. The position of “best friend” is open. It has been since high school. I just can’t seem to find the right person. I’ve been close 3-4 times, alas, no luck. So if you are also looking for a best friend, I know how you feel and I’m sorry. After 17 years of no best friend I’m starting to feel like I’m meant to be alone in life. Its a weird feeling, and I’m not sad about it. I love time spent alone. The 25 minute bath I took yesterday, with relaxing music and no interruptions(dont know how I managed that!) was rejuvenating. I was so happy and at peace afterwards. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and the time I spent alone, wandering my neighborhood, playing in the woods, acting out movies, laying in a hammock or climbing a tree to be alone,  and I really enjoyed that time.

Sob story am.i.right?!

In other news, I have been watching the 90’s tv show Frasier lately and I forgot how funny that show was!  Its been a lot of fun watching the clothing/hair styles of the 90’s transform and cross over into the 2000’s. I love Daphne in the first few seasons, she’s a riot!

That’s all today folks, thanks for reading my reveries. Love to you all.